The activist has developed defence mechanisms and tactics to deal with the heckling. But they fail when people who are theoretically on her side shoot her in the foot. Marta defines the phenomenon of ‘positive pressure’. “Yes, we understand that you haven’t recovered from Covid, we understand that you’re running on empty, but….” The greatest pressure comes from allies. They pin their hopes on her, expectations, even demands that she always manage. Her slightest mistake or stumble is accounted for, pointed out, it grows to the size of some unknown tragedy. “You should, you absolutely must.” There is no mercy. There is no tenderness, no kindness, no sensitivity. No empathy. “I am a dancing bear, and a dancing bear has one duty: to do stand-up on demand, which means always being in good shape. And I understand that, because it’s hard for the people who support us, who are with us, to care that I’m having a bad day. The dancing bear has to prove itself.”
I'm Sick And Tired Of Explaining Myself
Up until a certain point, Marta explained everything to everyone, but mostly she explained herself to others. Why she said this, why she acted like that, why not a different way. It has been a while now since she stopped explaining herself. She doesn’t have the strength for it. She is sincere and authentic, either someone buys it or they don’t. She doesn’t tend to do or say anything because it’s seen as appropriate. “I believe that authorities that don’t respect people are not authorities, full stop.”
Marta embodies responsibility. But in recent months, she has learned to set boundaries. The word ‘MUST’ is like a red rag to a bull to her. “Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t HAVE to do anything.” She has learnt not to react to taunts, comments that are meant to hurt her, to crush her, especially the so-called “internet institute of intellectual supervision”, as the Strike call the quite large and ever-present group of people who criticise her on social media. Often these are people who have nothing to do with activism, their statements detached from the reality in which the Strike operates. And sometimes from reality full stop. Marta often refers to this in her public statements.
People who work with her on a daily basis stress that the activist is confident but not complacent. She listens, she learns, she asks for advice, for tips, she pulls in people who have more experience and knowledge to help her with the Strike. She has no problem accepting criticism, but she hates lies and slander. This is what she fights against and she usually points it out bluntly.
My Body Says Stop
Her body is refusing to obey. For a dozen or so years she has been working like an ox, running herself into the ground to do the job right. During these last 5 years with the Strike, she has ignored her body’s signals that it was time to slow down, rest, take care of herself. She has neglected health issues. This came back to haunt her in early 2021, just after a serious case of coronavirus in December.